Anxiety in Ukraine

For the first 7 weeks, I was swept up in the power of the people. The massive protests and the surging momentum of the movement.

Now I feel like a kid on a broken roller coaster. I can’t get off and now I feel like I’m going to vomit.

The pressure of being immersed 24/7 in the noise of the protests is really setting my teeth on edge. Not because I don’t feel safe but because I have maintained an emotional high for far too long.

There is no escape. I see the square from my office, my students filter in from there, and I walk home even closer. My Facebook is constantly flooded with information, and the little masochist that I am, I actively seek out information as well.

Before, I eagerly awaited each new attempt at a resolution, but now, the hope has dissipated. I feel on the verge of tears. I’m not a citizen of this country but I feel so enraptured by it that it’s making me crazy.

I finally bit the bullet and paid a ridiculous sum to join a gym here and I’ve been pounding away at the treadmill ever since.

It helps a little. For a while, I feel like I’m doped on Valium but then I go back home and it starts all over again.

I am frustrated. I can’t even fully articulate why. I can’t calm down. At this point it would be like jumping out of a speeding car.

I wrote this a few days ago. I could not handle it much longer and stopped following a lot of Euromaidan on my Facebook today.

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